• me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers

I’m gonna make my dad download snapchat this should be fun stay tuned for goofy old man pix

I keep meaning to buy some skirts but then I see an amazing pair of shoes and I’m like OH !(◎_◎;)

i made $300 last week so i may or may not have just bought a pair of jeffrey campbell booties

i lost all my contacts like a week ago so if we used to text or if we talk or used to talk or whatever send me your number!

i just said “hot diggity” unironically goodbye

i will singlehandedly destroy nash grier